So, for this blog post, I wanted to express the phone call that impacted my life greatly in a positive manner. For years, ever since middle school, I have constantly been bullied on multiple factors of myself. Whether it was my acne, my height, my body hair, my style, my fierce tongue when it came to snapping at people who were judgmental or close minded, etc. Anyways, recently I’ve been down and feeling hopeless, worthless, and useless. I never seemed satisfied with my looks. I constantly dyed my hair, bought new clothes, and put on makeup to try and attempt to feel good about myself. I would dive into the problems of others and work tirelessly until I created a solution to them, just so I could feel like I had purpose and power in my life. I constantly felt out of place, not just by my unique sense of style or personality, but by my 5’7 height as well. I know it is not “Eiffel tower” type of tall, but compared to most girls it was extremely tall and I felt that I wasn’t cute because most guys would say how they found short girls cute. But that was it-the word I just said-“compared“. I compared myself constantly. I compared my tattoos, my height, my style, my hair, my skin complexion, my life experiences, my family, my relationships- EVERYTHING. I was so insecure and depressed about every aspect of myself because I drowned myself in the sorrows of my bitter past. The bullying, the shitty relationships, the abuse, the homelessness, the lack of love- it all kept swarming in my head and was pulling me away from ever achieving the feeling of worthiness and acceptance. Until my homie gave me a call and spoke to me for almost 4 hours on the phone. The phone call that changed my life. During this conversation he was extremely blunt, and although it felt as if my past wounds were being slit open again, I listened. His words were like a sludge hammer that were breaking through my gray walls of regret, sorrow, pain, and bitter memories. He exposed me to the sunshine that life has to offer, and that I would’ve missed if I continued to lay inside the shadows produced by my own walls. Although I’ve been more loving to myself and appreciating things in life on a greater basis, I can’t help but cry, or ponder in my thoughts, or feel negative emotions because of the current situations I have placed on just my shoulders.
Nevertheless, his words, his time, and his phone call, changed my life for the better. Thank you Abraham,